Wedding Invitation Etiquette: How to Handle +1s, Day vs Evening Guests, and Avoid Confusion
Guest lists are hard enough without decoding invitation politics. Let’s be honest, sorting out your wedding guest list can feel like playing emotional Jenga.
You want to keep things personal, not blow the budget, and avoid any awkward conversations… but then there’s the tricky stuff like who gets a plus one, and how to invite someone for the day but not their partner until the evening.
The good news? A little clarity goes a long way.
Here’s your low-stress guide to handling invitations like a pro, so you can avoid crossed wires, hurt feelings, and “just checking…” texts from your guests.
Elegant wedding stationery with wax seals and ribbon by Olive and Millicent.
Captured by Natalie Stevenson Photography.
Who Gets a +1 (And How to Decide Without Guilt)
One of the most common questions I get asked as a Wedding Planner is, who should get a plus one? And the answer - you don’t have to give everyone one.
Most couples choose to offer +1s to guests who are:
Married or engaged
Living together
In long-term relationships (a year or more is a common benchmark)
In the wedding party (so your best people can bring their person)
But really, it’s your wedding. You don’t need to include someone’s Hinge date from two weeks ago if you don’t want to. Especially if you’ve never even met them. There is no shame in protecting your headcount (and your budget).
How to Word the Invite So It’s Crystal Clear
Here’s the key: be specific. Vague invites are where misunderstandings happen.
If someone isn’t getting a +1:
Envelope: Miss Charlotte Turner
Invite: We would be delighted for you to join us on our wedding day.
No “and guest” = solo invite. You don’t need to spell it out, the wording does the job.
If someone is bringing their partner:
Envelope: Miss Charlotte Turner and Mr James Lee
Invite: We would be delighted for Charlotte and James to join us...
Using both names makes it clear.
Save the Date Card with Venue Illustration by Olive and Millicent. Captured by Natalie Stevenson Photography.
Day Guests vs Evening Guests: How does it work?
This setup is super common in UK weddings. You have your closest friends and family for the day (ceremony, meal, speeches), and then a wider group joins later for the party (cake, dancing, drinks, etc).
Day Guests Usually Come For:
The ceremony
The wedding breakfast (sit-down meal)
Speeches & early reception
Evening Guests Usually Come For:
Party time
Cake cutting
Evening food
The bit that can be a bit tricky? When you invite someone for the day, but their partner only for the evening.
It’s totally okay to do this - and it's actually super common - but it needs to be really clear so no one feels left out or confused.
How to Handle the Tricky Bit: Communicating It Clearly
Option 1: Two Separate Invites
This is the cleanest way to avoid any confusion. Give each person their own invite that says exactly what they’re invited to.
Day Guest Invite:
Charlotte Turner, You are invited to our wedding ceremony and reception at [Venue] on [Date], from [Time].
Evening Guest Invite:
James Lee, We would love for you to join us for the evening celebration of [Couple’s Names] at [Venue] on [Date], from [Time].
Option 2: One Invite, With a Little Note
If two invites feel over the top, you can just include a note or printed insert with the details.
“Charlotte, we’d love to have you with us for the ceremony and reception. James is warmly invited to join us for the evening celebration.”
It’s polite and to the point. No confusion, no drama.
Just avoid phrases like “we look forward to seeing you both”, they can cause some second guessing.
Blush Wedding Invitation with Silk Ribbon by Olive and Millicent.
Photographed by Natalie Stevenson Photography.
Avoiding the Awkward Moments
Here are a few final tips to keep things smooth:
Add a Q&A on your wedding website:
“Can I bring a guest?” → “Your invitation will say if a plus one is included.”Be consistent: People will compare notes, especially in group chats.
Stay kind but firm: If someone asks why their partner isn’t coming all day, try:
“We’ve had to make some really hard decisions with numbers, and we really appreciate your understanding.”
In Summary
Invitation wording might feel like a tiny detail, but getting it right makes everything easier (for you and your guests).
Clear invites = fewer questions, smoother planning, and less stress.
And if the whole guest list puzzle is making your head spin? That’s where I come in.
I help couples plan relaxed, joyful weddings that feel personal, not like a wedding factory.
If you want help keeping things stress-free, let's chat.
Supplier Spotlight
The beautiful stationery featured in this post was created by Olive and Millicent, an incredible Hertfordshire stationer who specialises in illustrated designs.
Photos by the talented Natalie Stevenson, who captures the gorgeous details perfectly.
